OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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