There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
