I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
