I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize