I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
