its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
