I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
