you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
