YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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