You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
