she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
