I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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