Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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