she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
