I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
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