ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
