Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
