If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
