I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Plan B is the new Plan A
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Randomize
