the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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