So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
