just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
