what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
