His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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