If that was your dad, he is hot
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
