I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The dick lei will go down in squad history
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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