she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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