You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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