This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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