please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
