ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just had sex on a roof
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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