Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
