i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Randomize
