I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
