I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
