she was so not down for the gang bang
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just high enough for therapy.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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