i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The feeling are messing with the penis
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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