were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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