plz talk dirty to me
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
