After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
