Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
His hands were made for my vagina.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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