is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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