If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
