i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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