i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
