plz talk dirty to me
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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