Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
