absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
