Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
