She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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